LeMons New England Wrap Up


I though I would do a final wrap up this series with how we placed in the top third of all the competitors, with the slowest car on the track. So if you’re interested, continue reading after the jump!

As you know, we placed 22nd at the end of Saturdays session, with absolutely no mechanical problems. The problems we did encounter were problems with the basic drivability of the car, from braking that made the car dart to the right, to the peculiar handling issues with the swing arm suspension. There was next to no power, but the car ran, and ran, and ran. The powerglide automatic was functioning perfectly, and it was the quietest car on the track with a fully stock exhaust system. On Sunday, racing began at noon due to an ordinance at the track, so this left us plenty of time for the Peoples Curse.

The Peoples Curse is a LeMons tradition. You see, if a team is driving badly, or other teams don’t believe that they were plating fairly, or they just don’t like them, then they usually are voted the peoples curse. Each participating team votes for the car that will be destroyed. The voting at Stafford was rather close this year, with a 2 car team getting the majority of the votes. Yes there are multiple car teams, and the team that was chosen fielded two FWD Impalas. Each of the teams that voted felt that this team was driving rather aggressively, to the point of being obnoxious. With some very heavy under steer in the corners, both of the Impalas were handling nightmares, making our car seem downright planted. So, the car with the most voted was a a Green Impala, named the “Pimpala” because it was decorated with a leopard print roof, and gold everywhere. Jay Lamm, the Chief Organizer of the event wanted the chief mechanic from each team to choose his favorite hand tool to remove items from the Impala. Most of the “mechanics” chose a sledge hammer. They were given ten minutes to punish the car. Let’s just say that the car was destroyed.

With the Peoples Curse executed, it was time to line up for the return to racing. We just changed the tires, and checked on the brakes, and that was all the prep we did. A splash of fuel, and Johnny was ready to take the controls. They lined up the top ten for the start of the race, and they were off. Johnny was running cool and calm, up until about an hour into the race. You see, other competitors were starting to get very aggressive, and Johnny spun out (right where everyone else did) in front of the grandstands. He took a penalty, and it was the “Fashion Show” penalty in which he had to parade in a green dress.

It was about this time that two of my team members, Todd Ford, and Carmine Dell Aquilla did something extraordinary. There was a team, the Keystome Kops, running a faster that is should have been Volvo DL, and were part of the Keystone Volvo family. They were running a charity booth for Alex’s Lemonade Stand, which is a foundation dedicated to finding a cure for childhood cancer. It seems that at the drivers meeting the Kops stated that they were short of their goal. So, Carmine and Todd wrote out a check, and promptly put them over their target. The radio call went to the track officials that our 63 car wasn’t going to serve any penalties if we received a black flag. Well, that was the theory at least.

It was now my turn to return to the driver’s seat in the Corvair, and it was doing the same thing it did on Saturday, slow, tail happy, and not much else. I was trying to be competitive, trying to keep up with traffic, and braking late to get into the corner faster. This was exactly the wrong move, because all of a sudden while braking hard, I heard a loud bang from the front of the car. The brake pedal started to feel funny, and it felt like the right front shoes were dragging. Well, after a couple of more laps, they loosened up, but upon breaking, they fely wobbly, and I had to pump the brake pedal up. So I continued, and on turn one, I was cut off, and as I slammed on the brakes, the right front wheel locked up, and I skidded right in front of everyone. Well, the right front wheel was locked up all right, as I couldn’t move forward, so I threw her into reverse, backed up about 6 inches (enough to loosen up the wheel), and drove off the track. Well, I had to serve a penalty, but the track crew let our team work on the car while I was serving the penalty. What did I have to do? I had to get into a dress, fake boobs, and a wig, and get lunch for the infield fire crew. I had to parade in my new outfit in front of the crowd. It was humiliating, but I wowed the crowd.

So, what was the problem? The right front brake drum cracked from the excessive heat. Johnny and Katherine took the drum off, used a little hammering to try and form it back, replaced the brake shoes (as the old ones were metal to metal), and sent Andy out in less than 20 Minutes. It seems that some of the teams didn’t like that, because right away, one of them performed a pit maneuver, right at turn one. The one interesting thing about LeMons is that if both cars get into an altercation, they both have to serve the penalty. The rear fender was rubbing on the rear tire, and Johnny to the rescue with another hammer. He pounded out the fender to clear the tire, breaking the hammer in the process. The track crew let us go back onto the track, while the other car had to sit out their penalty. From here on to the end of the session, it was rather uneventful. Mike was once again called on to be the anchor driver, and he lapped, and he lapped, and he lapped. At one time he just came in and took a rest because we calculated that we were the class winners, and it was a mathematical impossibility to lose it. However, 15 minutes before the end of the race, he went out there, and Katherine asked the officials to wave the checkered flag at our car first, and they did. Mike stayed out for one more lap, and was at the end of the procession coming into the pits.

So, we knew we were the winners for our class, but what else was in store for us? It was an eventful day, with Johnny pulling out an impossible feat with the brakes; Katherine hob knobbing with the officials; Carmine and Todd helping out Alex’s Lemonade Stand; Andy using his 455 Powered Corvair as the pace car; Mary who was acting as our surrogate mom and making sure everything was functioning; Jason making sure that every team was fed; and Mike who was the anchor man of the team. And at the awards ceremony, the first trophy they awarded was the Index of Effluency, which is the team that epitomizes the spirit of the 24 Hours of LeMons by showing up in the most god-awful car, interacts with other teams, and generally is the talk of the event. And we won it! We also won our class, by at least 50 laps over our closest rival, and came in 23rd overall (of 58 entries). We will be back, with some improvements to the Corvair.



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Автор: DarrenFerris на 14:59
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